Austin Ellis Hesse - Online Memorial Website

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Austin Hesse
Born in Iowa
22 years
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CRYSTAL METH. THE KILLER DRUG. You wore me out, that is no doubt. You kept me high, I couldn't say goodbye.

This memorial website was created to remember our dearest Austin Hesse who passed away on August 24, 2006. You will live forever in our memories and hearts.


On behalf of the family I would like to thank each and every visitor here and ask you to take the time to read the entire site.  This site is not only dedicated to the memory of Austin but also to spread the word of the horrors of meth addiction.  Feel free to give this link to anyone who might benefit from it.


Thank you for all the kind words.  Our hearts and prayers go out to all of you who are battling your own addictions or trying to deal with the addictions of your loved ones.


You may contact me by clicking the link at the bottom of this page and I will be happy to forward any appropiate material to the immediate family.


This may be the story of one man's addiction but it is the story of a whole country's battle to gain our live and the lives of our children back.


For all of our family and friends that have stood by Austin in his struggles over the years, we thank you.  Austin thanks you.


For all of the people that turned away as if we were a bad situation and needed to be avoided, we hope that Austin's memories will touch a part of your heart and help you to reach out to others in need and recognize kindness and how drugs can take over someone lives. To be more compassionate humans.


Please take a stand in the fight against drugs, especially Crystal Meth. It kills and it destroys everything and everybody around it.


Austin's memory will live on forever in the hearts of everyone that knew him. In the hearts of everyone that knows how drugs can take over a life. For Austin, please don't blame him, it wasn't his fault. We will love him forever.


God Bless all of you!




Supportive links


Clinton County Iowa Substance Abuse Help

Please Call New Directions:  563-243-2124 



I destroy homes I tear families apart
Take your children and thats just the start.
Im more costly than diamonds, More precious than
the sorrow I bring will be a sight to behold.
If you need me , remember Im easily found
I live all around you in schools and in town
I live with the rich I live with the poor
I live down the street and maybe next door
Im made in a lab , but not like you think
I can be made under your kitchen sink
In your childs closet and in the woods
If this scares you to death it certainly should.

I have many names but theres one you know best
Im sure you heard of me , my name is Crystal Meth
MY power is awesome, try me you'll see
but if you do you may never break free
Just try me once and I might let you go
But try me twice and I'll own your soul
When I possess you , you'll steal and you'll lie
You do what you have to just to get high
The crimes youll commit for my narcotic charms
will be worth the pleasure you'll feel in your arms
You'll lie to your mother and still from your dad
When you see their tears you should feel sad
but you'll forget your morals and how you were raised
I'll be your conscience , I'll teach you my ways.
I take KIDS from parents and PARENTS from kids
I turn people from God and separate friends
I'll take everything from you , your looks and your pride
I'll be with you always , right by your side
You'll give up everything your family your home
your friends your money then you'll be alone.
I'll take and take untill you have nothing more to give, when Im finished with you'll be lucky to LIVE.
If you try me bewarned-this is no game
If given a chance I'll drive you in sane.
I'll ravish your body , I'll controll your mind
I'll own you completely your soul will be mine
The nightmares I'll give you while lying in bed
The voices you'll hear from inside your head
The sweats the shakes the visions you'll see
I want you to know these are all gifts from me
But then its too late and you'll know in your heart
That you are mine and we shall not part.
You'll regret that you tried me they always do
But you came to me ..not I to you.
You knew this would happen, many times you were told
But you challenged my power and chose to be bold
You could have said "NO" and just walked away
If you could live that day over, now what would you say?
I'll be your master , you'll be my slave
I'll even go with you , when you go to your grave.
Now that youv'e met me what will you do?
Will you try me or not? Its all up to you.
I can bring you more misery than words can tell.
Come take my hand, let me lead you to hell



Latest Memories
Barb Peavey and class Days turn in to years April 11, 2015
Dear Austin and family:

As the days turn in to years the love and the missing of you doesn't go away!  Leann Walker and I speak often of you!  We smile and think of all the times in class together.  This world missed a great deal when you left it.  We send love and happy memories of our times together. 

Love, Barb and Leann
Randy Codd Glad to have found this website December 29, 2012
First off,  thanks to Grandma Regan and to mother Jill...

I am a child of the 60's...  between the lies the government fed us about Viet Nam and drugs my generation rebelled.  We draft doged and did every drug we could find...  I'm not making excuses,  just stating fact.

I seemed to be doing ok until my mother died at the young age of 57...  I was 42.  Mom had me when she was 15 in 1953.  My step father (who was worth about 10 million $$$) and his greed cheated me and my siblings out of my mother's legacy...  I found meth...

Within a few years,  I was living on the streets...  no dignity and NO TEETH !  In and out of jail,  no money and no place to go.  There was a stretch of 10 years where I never saw my only son (9-19).  During my downfall,  I lost one daughter to foster care (mom was "dirty") she was taken after I delivered her in a cheesy motel.  My baby never came home from the hospital.  To this day I haven't seen her... (12 years)  someday I will.

One year later,  I had another daughter with the same gal.  She was still using...  I couldn't bare to lose another child to the system...  Baby Moma checked herself in to a "halfway house" (sober living) and delivered the baby clean...  That was 11 years ago...

My daughter and her mother just left yesterday after visiting me on Christmas...  I stll have yet to see my other daughter,  but I know someday I will.  Oh, BTW,  my son graduated from UCLA two years ago.  Although I wasn't allowed to attend his graduation ( at my ex-wife's prompting)  I have re established my relationshp with him and feel like the luckiest man on earth.

Meth is a brutal drug that takes no prisoners.  It has no regard for race,  sex  or the quality of the person involved...  My heart goes out to Grandma Regan and mother Jill...  I was lucky,  I survived... 

I'm so sorry for your loss...  Austin's legacy live's on...  Only now, he is doing his work from heaven.
E Neto I'm so glad I found this place April 12, 2012
Im Neto, 35yo. I found drugs 10 years ago and the meth. I used to be brilliant, proactive, full of hope. Today I'm battling to survive. I'm in recovery for over a month now. By reading the story of your son, I have found strength to carry on in my journey. Next week be 9 years since my mom died. She would be dvasted to see what her son has become. I'm want to be clean, I want to rebuilt my life. I want to be able to helpwot her people who are lost in the arms of the white devil
Barb Peavey Austin's Teachr April 11, 2012
Think of you so very often dear Austin.  You were a bright spark many days in our class.  I cherish your mom's friendship a great deal.  She has been a incredible help to me in my hours of overwhelming sadness and grief.  There is not a day that she doesn't think of you, how wonderful you are, and how much she wishes you were here to spend life together.  My love to you my friend.  Barb Peavey
I came across this page today on accident but glad i did. Austin was a childhood friend of mine that i always think about. I saw the good in his heart and knew his amazing abilities as an artist. I remeber the day i heard of his death and still have the newspaper clipping from the Dewitt observer. I was and still am saddened at the way this happened and will never forget about him. I cried the day i found out, I cried when i read the article in the paper and his letter to 'crystal' really hit home with me,and I cried reading this website and looking at all the pictures. I remeber him coming back to Iowa after he had been living in Arizona with his dad and he came to see me in Wheatland and it was the sunshine in my gloomy day whenever I saw him he always put a smile on my face. I have never and will never touch the horrible drug that helped claim his life but i will always be aware.  I love you Austin and miss you know that i think of you often and one day we will meet again. Until then my friend.     I never saw the end in sight, fools are kinda blind, thought everything was going alright but i was running out of time. Cuz you had one foot out the door,I swear I didnt see. but if youre really going away heres some final words from me...Baby write this down take a little note to remind you incase you didnt know,Tell yourself i love you and i dont want you to go,write this down. Take my words and read em everyday,keep em close by dont you let em fade away so youll remember what i forgot to say write this down. I'll sign it at the bottom of the page, Ill swear under oath cause evey single word is true and i thnk you need to know. So use it as a bookmark,stick it on your frigerater door, hang it in a picture frame up above the mantel where youll see it for sure. Baby write this down take a little note to remind you incase you didnt know tell yourself i love you and i dont want you to go write this down. Take my words and read em everyday keep em close by dont you let them fade away. So youll remember what i forgot to say, Write this down. You can find a chisel,I can find a stone.Folks will be reading these words,long after we're gone.Baby write this down take a little note, to remind yourself in case you didnt know.Tell yourself i love you and i dont want you to go write this down. Take my words and read em everyday keep em close by dont you let em fade away so youll remember what i forgot to say, write this down. Oh I love you and i dont want you to go..BABY WRITE THIS DOWN!

Latest Condolences
Sarah Austin July 25, 2014
I have left a candle for you, I am so sorry you struggled with this awful disease, and the pain you felt  that lead you to where you are. I'm sorry for what your family went through watching you go through this misery. I am a non using addict of 10 years, clean for the past 8 Years, you're story will live on and change peoples lives. It has touched mine, May you finally Rest in peace.
Jessica <3 June 20, 2013
I do not know your family and did not know your son but I came across this beautiful website and I just want to say that I am so sorry for your loss. I am a drug addict myself and I understand the pain it could have on everyone involved. I just wanted to leave my condolences and let you know that the grips of addiction are a terribly hard thing to over come abd your son is in a better place now. RIP Austin!
Rus Sorry for your loss and also need you prayers November 16, 2011
Im sorry for the loss of Austin Im sure that has to be very painful. Its been a good while now since his passing but Im sure it still hurts today just as much as it did then. However, I hope that God has been a compfort for you over these past years, and years to come. Im 21 Years old I will soon be 22 in couple months. I recently had a baby boy but cannot see him because me and the mother in going through a divorce. Her nor her family wants me or my family to have anything to do with my son. It hurts me very bad having to go through this. I have done drugs including meth in the past when I was 16 till I was 19 going to rehab. I got clean and did not use, until now. During our seperation I ran into an old friend and I slipped up 1 time, however, 1 time is to many. Im having a divorce court custody hearing in 1 month and im scared they are going to do a hair drug test on me and i will fail. If i fail im scared they will keep my son away even longer and I will lose rights to him. Im not using and have no reason to lie, I did use and Im hurting knowing what the outcomes will be. I started googe n about meth and how long it stays in the sytem when this came up. I clicked on the linked and it led me to Austins page. Again Im sorry for your loss. I will pray for your daily strengh, I ask you pray for me as well. Thank you
Brandi You can only help yourself. June 21, 2011
My name is Brandi,and I have battled meth addiction since I was barely 18 years old when my mother gave me my first hit. She swore I had done it before because I "knew too much about it not to have done it" I am now 24 years old and I was a full blown needle junkie the day that I quit cold turkey. It was late February 2010 and I had just shot up my last half gram of meth, and I broke the syringe and said "never again", because I had lost my fiance over it and he was in rehab at the time, and I wanted us to be together and sober and have a family together. I called him that day,still high as a kite,and told him I was ready to quit and get sober, he was on a home pass and working for some friends of his whose house burned in a meth lab fire,he left the job and came 50 miles to come get me, it took him maybe 45 minutes max to get there, he took me to my dad's house, I got clean, we got back together and I got pregnant with our son Kieran in April 2010. He relapsed and alot of bad things happened since then, but now I am in a place called Medina Children's Home, in the Arms of Hope Together Program, where Mothers can get their lives straight without any outside interferences like men or drugs or alcohol or violence. Philip is in jail again because although he was clean again, he went to give his friend a ride to his mom's house and that friend just happened to have a meth lab in the bathroom and the cops had been alerted, the friend signed a statement confessing to all charges and letting them know that Philip had no knowledge of any illegal activities that day, so the charges will be dropped soon, but because of meth he has missed out on 6 months of his son's life (he was born on December 12th,2010)...when he gets out of jail he plans to leave Huntsville Alabama and drop all of his old friends, and move out here to San Antonio Texas to get away from those people and drugs,start over, and make a life with us like we planned in the beginning. I am aware that there are also the risks of drug use out here but I am almost sure that the 6 months missed out on his first son's life has changed his perspective a bit. So this is how meth has affected me and my life, and it still is affecting me/us. I just want to say that if I could quit the needle and never look back, then almost anyone else should be able to. Because I made the decision only I could make for myself, and in this world today, you can only help yourself...Only if you want to. All it takes is THE WANT TO!!!!!!! If you wanted the drugs bad enough that you have to get the money right away or you resort to making them, and now you want real bad to quit, then you should have no problem, because I don't know if anyone else realizes it, but the drug game is hard work, always running around, finding money and/or supplies, tracking down the right people, tracking down the people that stole your belongings, etc. it's just hard work, and I think it's much easier and much less work to just work a 40 hour a week job and take care of myself and my son than always running around "chasing the dragon". Well that's all I have, and if anyone has read this far, thank you for hearing me out and I hope that my story and advice will help inspire someone to get "the want to". Thanks for your time and space.   and facebook@ Rose Delacroix
Della I'm so sorry May 9, 2011
Quick Gallery
Grandma Rolston and Austin June 2006 March 2002 Carving Pumpkins 1999 At Niabi Zoo Grandma Regan, Austin and Dad Easter 1996 Christmas 2004 Austin Austin 2005 At the carnival Austin loved to fish http://usuarios.lycos.e Mom and Austin 1996 Nice Bull Austin loved to ski Austin 2005