Austin Ellis Hesse - Online Memorial Website

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Austin Hesse
Born in Iowa
22 years
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Sarah Austin July 25, 2014
I have left a candle for you, I am so sorry you struggled with this awful disease, and the pain you felt  that lead you to where you are. I'm sorry for what your family went through watching you go through this misery. I am a non using addict of 10 years, clean for the past 8 Years, you're story will live on and change peoples lives. It has touched mine, May you finally Rest in peace.
Jessica <3 June 20, 2013
I do not know your family and did not know your son but I came across this beautiful website and I just want to say that I am so sorry for your loss. I am a drug addict myself and I understand the pain it could have on everyone involved. I just wanted to leave my condolences and let you know that the grips of addiction are a terribly hard thing to over come abd your son is in a better place now. RIP Austin!
Rus Sorry for your loss and also need you prayers November 16, 2011
Im sorry for the loss of Austin Im sure that has to be very painful. Its been a good while now since his passing but Im sure it still hurts today just as much as it did then. However, I hope that God has been a compfort for you over these past years, and years to come. Im 21 Years old I will soon be 22 in couple months. I recently had a baby boy but cannot see him because me and the mother in going through a divorce. Her nor her family wants me or my family to have anything to do with my son. It hurts me very bad having to go through this. I have done drugs including meth in the past when I was 16 till I was 19 going to rehab. I got clean and did not use, until now. During our seperation I ran into an old friend and I slipped up 1 time, however, 1 time is to many. Im having a divorce court custody hearing in 1 month and im scared they are going to do a hair drug test on me and i will fail. If i fail im scared they will keep my son away even longer and I will lose rights to him. Im not using and have no reason to lie, I did use and Im hurting knowing what the outcomes will be. I started googe n about meth and how long it stays in the sytem when this came up. I clicked on the linked and it led me to Austins page. Again Im sorry for your loss. I will pray for your daily strengh, I ask you pray for me as well. Thank you
Brandi You can only help yourself. June 21, 2011
My name is Brandi,and I have battled meth addiction since I was barely 18 years old when my mother gave me my first hit. She swore I had done it before because I "knew too much about it not to have done it" I am now 24 years old and I was a full blown needle junkie the day that I quit cold turkey. It was late February 2010 and I had just shot up my last half gram of meth, and I broke the syringe and said "never again", because I had lost my fiance over it and he was in rehab at the time, and I wanted us to be together and sober and have a family together. I called him that day,still high as a kite,and told him I was ready to quit and get sober, he was on a home pass and working for some friends of his whose house burned in a meth lab fire,he left the job and came 50 miles to come get me, it took him maybe 45 minutes max to get there, he took me to my dad's house, I got clean, we got back together and I got pregnant with our son Kieran in April 2010. He relapsed and alot of bad things happened since then, but now I am in a place called Medina Children's Home, in the Arms of Hope Together Program, where Mothers can get their lives straight without any outside interferences like men or drugs or alcohol or violence. Philip is in jail again because although he was clean again, he went to give his friend a ride to his mom's house and that friend just happened to have a meth lab in the bathroom and the cops had been alerted, the friend signed a statement confessing to all charges and letting them know that Philip had no knowledge of any illegal activities that day, so the charges will be dropped soon, but because of meth he has missed out on 6 months of his son's life (he was born on December 12th,2010)...when he gets out of jail he plans to leave Huntsville Alabama and drop all of his old friends, and move out here to San Antonio Texas to get away from those people and drugs,start over, and make a life with us like we planned in the beginning. I am aware that there are also the risks of drug use out here but I am almost sure that the 6 months missed out on his first son's life has changed his perspective a bit. So this is how meth has affected me and my life, and it still is affecting me/us. I just want to say that if I could quit the needle and never look back, then almost anyone else should be able to. Because I made the decision only I could make for myself, and in this world today, you can only help yourself...Only if you want to. All it takes is THE WANT TO!!!!!!! If you wanted the drugs bad enough that you have to get the money right away or you resort to making them, and now you want real bad to quit, then you should have no problem, because I don't know if anyone else realizes it, but the drug game is hard work, always running around, finding money and/or supplies, tracking down the right people, tracking down the people that stole your belongings, etc. it's just hard work, and I think it's much easier and much less work to just work a 40 hour a week job and take care of myself and my son than always running around "chasing the dragon". Well that's all I have, and if anyone has read this far, thank you for hearing me out and I hope that my story and advice will help inspire someone to get "the want to". Thanks for your time and space.   and facebook@ Rose Delacroix
Della I'm so sorry May 9, 2011
Oraclepro A friend February 12, 2011
My heart hurts for you. I lost a son to drugs, Xanax. I will never get over it. God will heal us, one day at a time, and He will do it by giving us the strength to reach out to others.
Lori Ferguson Sending a prayer August 25, 2010
Jill... I am thinking of you and sending prayers today in memory of Austin.
mom 2 Waylon Kitchens thinkin of you April 17, 2010

          In Loving Memory

              of an Angel

             Austin Hesse




Jennifer Now I know April 6, 2010


I wrote on this board in May 09.  My greatest fear was that one day drugs would take my son.  Now I know your pain....Erik died April 2, 2010.  From the last time I wrote things really were changing for the better.  Erik quit drugs for quite awhile.  He was attending school, he wanted to become an RN.  He was trying so hard.  We paid for school but he got a student loan without us knowing it until the checks came in the mail.  He bought a car....he bought drugs. It was Erik's nature to never do a little of anything.  If 1 pill was good then 5 was awesome!  He had many drugs in his system, including meth.  He went into the hospital on March 31 and was on life support until April 2.  

I feel your pain.  Its hard for others to understand what we've been through all these years.  Some might think that we should have done this or done that differently.  The what ifs are flooded in my mind. There were so many times that Erik could have died before now.  The comfort that I do have is that I know his pain is gone.   He is God's child in Heaven.

Jill, what can I do to help?  What can I do to help stop this? 

Hugs, Jennifer

Kelly Jackson God is good! October 10, 2009

my heart hurts for your family.  I have been feeling the effects of having drug addict frends and family.  Its so hard because part of me wants to push them away because I am ashamed of them, but as a child of God I want to love them and pray that God has mercy on them.  This is so very hard to watch loved ones go threw this.  I dont understand why God's plans are the way they are sometimes, but I do know this.  In his perfect will evrything is ok and he is GOOD ALL THE TIME.

Paul the apposal was a killer and several inoccent people lost their lives. God sure does know how to turn lemons in to lemoande because when he found God he led nations to Christ.  This is what the site reminds me of.  You took a loss and now with that loss you are making millions aware of Meth and what it will led to.  You are so very strong!  May God bless you and may this site bless this nation.  Thanks so very much.  You sister in Christ -kelly-

Mom to Angel Justin Lindley Forever in my heart-finally FREE! September 18, 2009

Lori Message for Jill September 7, 2009

Please contact me at 308-946-3250 or 308-520-0891                                        I am very sorry for the loss of your son. Meth has also destroyed most of my family. I organized a recovery walk in Nebraska, last year we walked 220 miles, this year we traveled to each town and set up a drug awareness booth. We didn't have much public interest this year, I was discouraged and considering not doing it again next year. I lost a good friend to addiction this year while on the walk, she will be buried on Sept. 19th. She was a nurse that had been to treatment 28 times. She never gave up trying to get clean and sober. I found Austin's story while trying to find a song for her service. I am reminded why I started this walk and why I am out there. If we touch one life, prevent one child from trying Meth, then our efforts are not wasted.

SANDY Thank You September 6, 2009
I am so sorry for the lose of your son. My son and I both used meth and it is the devil its the hardest thing to kick my best  friend gave it to me to try after my grandfather passed away.I thought he was my best friend but with friends like that who needs enemys. I am so sorry for the lose of your son.I have been clean for 1 year.My son is know  clean for 8 months in SAFP. I cry evertime I leave him but know that I found your site I feel very lucky that my son is alive and at safp. Im sorry you lost your son to the devils drug.. your in my thoughts..
Cheryl I hate meth too! September 5, 2009
I am grateful for your heart and kindness.  May your son help others by sharing his story.  My daughter is 21 and has been a meth addict for the past 3 yrs.  She is incarcerated right now and has been drug free for a few months, but I know the reality.  I hope for her, I pray for her.  I have such a hate for meth and people who put this stuff out for our children just so they can put blood money in their pockets.  She will come to my house when she gets out and we will try again.  I will be sending her the poems on this sight.  I pray for you to continue your fight against this horrible drug.  May your son be smiling on you.  Thank you for opening your heart to others. 
mom 2 Waylon Kitchens thinkin of you August 23, 2009

I am still searching for answers as to why are sons would keep takeing this evil drug the pain it has caused to our family seems to never go away,my son Robert died on Fathers day 2007 every day I lose more of my life inside I pray for those who are searching for a way out. David from Prescott,AZ. GOD BLESS.

Diane-ClaireSullivan's daughte Addiction June 16, 2009

I came accross your son's story & it broke my heart. I have a nephew in jail now for over a yr because of the drug heroin - I cringe at the word! Now his brother who has been using for awhile crashed - he robbed a bank in order to set off a chain of effents - & that was to die! He wanted the police to shoot him! He went to buy a gun - thank god he couldn't get one! He went after the police officers with a box cutter. They did subdue him - but they kicked his front tooth out - beat him up some after he was handcuffed - six of them! Anyway he is getting physchiactric evaluations - he is still sucidial because of what this drug has made him - we know he will have to pay for what he did - but we want him to get the help that he needs! Of course we feel guilty for not doing something sooner - but we are behind him all the way! My mother is gone now - she was the core of the family - she taught us to that family sticks together! That's what we are doing - but what happened to my nephew - it flashed back to me what happened to your son! My heart broke all over again! I can't imagine the horror you felt when you lost your Austin - I am so sorry!

God Bless You & your family.

Jennifer So sorry for your loss May 4, 2009

I'm so sorry for your loss.   Your son's story hits close to home. 

 I have a 24 year old son, we live in Phx, Az.   He quit meth about 3 years ago but last week confirmed that he's doing it again.  Like your son, he's been doing drugs for about 10 years.  His mind is going. 

Like the poem says, meth steals souls, but it also feels like it rips my heart from my chest.  I'm so sorry for your loss.  Thank you for sharing your story.

New Zealand Girl Its here 2 April 19, 2009

We live in a beautiful part of the world which is being destroyed by this devil drug.I have felt the pain of being in love with someone who could not fight the addction.Now I know more about it I can forgive myself...I thought I could love him out of the need and lost thousands in the process. The worst part is that ,like Austin, he was the most beautiful human being when not using.Ultimately I had to walk away , but I love hm still and am so desperately angry that this filthy drug exists.Austins parents are so brave with this site,they are making some good come out of such a tragedy.In the past ten years New Zealand society has been eroded by this foul beast...such pain and misery is being felt by parents and partners here too. God give you His strength, Austins parents.


NZ Girl

jon hope December 9, 2008

i leave for rehab tomorrow and am scared out of my mind.  i stumbled upon this site as i googled "strength for rehab".  anyway, i just wanted to say that visiting this site has givin me hope and reminds me that im not alone.  i relate to austin in several ways.  its a shame that drugs like this exist.  its a shame that its so hard to get help if you are an addict.  i see these are things that you are trying to change.  i appreciate that.


jon 31 year old addict.

Adrian Raye Austin October 16, 2008



All Consuming,


Fires Burning All You Miss.

But Nothing Takes Your Mind Away

From What Your Heart Bleeds On To Say

But Most Of All,


All In All

My Heart Goes Out To You.......Adrian Raye.

robert Never in vain August 24, 2008

My eyes cry for you and your family.My 2 daughters now 23 and 20.Lived with

a dad addicted to speed off and on for years..What a selfish act it was..


My heart is softened more today by your loss.I am 84 days clean and

never looking back.They have learned from my ways.God has granted

me the courage to change the things I can.And I am.


Your family is in my heart forever.



Soledad from Argentina To Jill, Daniel and Bill June 30, 2008

I am from Argentina, I have been reading about this drug on the internet, we don t have it yet in here. Can not believe what this evil drug can cause. I am sorry for your loss, but I am sure he found the peace he coundn t find here.


Thanks you for having the courage to share your sons experience with others..


May Austin rest in peace!

Soledad from Argentina.



Dessa Smith You are in my heart and prayers May 27, 2008
I am so sorry, I lost my son to prescription drugs (methodone) the biggest part. He got it off the street. Know you and your family are forever in my heart and in my prayers. Joseph's mom
valerie sorry but thank you May 15, 2008

to austin's mom:

i am sincerely sorry for the way austin's story ended.  after only a three month addiction to meth, the struggle to quit using is extremely difficult and some days i wonder if the pain i feel in quitting is worth it.  i read austin's memorial and the dedication you put into creating it.  i envision my mother having to do go through the same kind of loss that you have endured and it almost makes my heart stop.

the pain i feel every single minute by quitting is definately worth it. (it has been three weeks since my last use--the LONGEST i have been clean since i was introduced to meth) i have been the worst person to my family and friends because of meth and mostly to my mom. i only continued to hurt her because she was one of the two people (the other was my dad) who refused to give up on me i am grateful to them for that.  they stuck around long enough to see things get ugly. i was a different person when i was needing to get more meth.  i am gratful to them for that. 

jill-you're son, austin, has definately touched my heart.  i know that my mother thanks you for reaching out.

Angie Fallowfield A lost soul April 25, 2008
Hi! My name is Angie and I am a greatful recovering addict!  Clean and sober by Gods Grace and I am greatful I know that today!  January 23, 2007 is a day I will never forget, and my soul was lost in active addiciton.  I felt so hopeless, helpless, and lost.  I felt my only option to quit using would be to end my life.  I was on probation, and I knew I was gonna end up back in jail.  I was in so much pain, and my life was so out of control. I had left a message to my therapist telling her I had taken some pills, and I had also left a suicide letter for her.  I do not remember doing this, but I was told later.  My therapist was even suppose to go into work that next day, and for some reason went in.  She listened to my message, and called 911 right away!   Paraamedicts found me unconscience on my bedroom floor, and I had been that way for several hours.  They carried my lifeless body out, and later I would find out that I had died 9 times.   I flatlined 9 times, and was on a breathing machine for 3 days.  The only thing I remember is waking up with a tube down my throat, but my therapist was there by my bedside.  Little would I know this would be the beginning of a new life, and a life I've never known.  All I ever known was drugs and alcohol.  I was in and out of treatment centers, hospitals, instutions, and even jail.  The reality is that we can get help with an addiction, but until we are willing and ready that we will finally get the help we need.  I died 15 months ago, but now I have another chance at life!  I've been clean every since my overdosed, and I finally get to give back what was given to me! Thanks for letting me share!   
Deborah I am so sorry.. March 21, 2008

I an a recovering meth addict...its harder than hell. I have 7 days clean today, and its a struggle every second of the day. i have 4 kids who love me so youngest is 12, and she looks to me for everything. Her father recently found out about my use and got supervised older kids being the supervisors...I have never been arrested, work as a nurse, and no one would ever suspect i've been a daily user for over 20 years..I've finally realised that this disease can and will kill...everyime I look in my babys face, i cry because i see how much i've failed her, and how much she needs me. I'm in tears now from reading your story, and from, for the first time, being open about all this. I can only imagine how devistating losing a child so needlessly must be..I know if it was my child ..well..i dont know if i could go on.  Its stories like yours that, and my little girls hopeful eyes that are keeping me clean so far. I'm in an outpatient program, and i understand only too well the levels of hopelessness, sadness, and desparation this illness brings.


Thank you for sharing your pain...If it affects one person the way it has affected me, then your coming out with this matters..and i sincerly believe that it matters maybe more than you know..


I'm sorry for your pain, but , as an addict, knowing how hard it can be...maybe, and hopefully you can get some comfort, and solace in knowing that your sons battle..his finally over...I'm just sorry it had to end so tragically...but, he is at peace..where he finally can rest.


Thank You for sharing

Shelly Nagy From a Stranger March 6, 2008
Thank you for forwarding the site to me.Having lost a friend from Meth use last week, this memorial has made me realize we are not alone, ever.I keep asking myself, why I didn't do more to help him, but he just wouldn't let anyone in.I am sorry for the loss of your son.My friend was only 29, and he took his own life because the pain was just too much to bare.I hope a day will come when this awful drug is no longer around.My thoughts are with you.
Laurri Lowe Rosies Mom January 10, 2008

Sending tender hugs from my broken heart to yours.  I hope one day we will just know why.....

Angel Marie God Bless You! November 23, 2007
I'm so sorry for your loss.
I know too well the devastation meth addiction.
I myself fought with the endless urge to commit suicide.
If it weren't for my teenagers, I wouldn't be alive today.
I couldn't hurt them like that.
So I lived.
But it didn't feel like I was living.
I was empty.
An empty shell.
I was no longer able to feel.
I couldn't feel pleasure.
It was a dark world.
Thank God I was eventually diagnosed with bipolar, so mental health help and the right medicine brought me back to life.
I now appreciate the beauty of life.
Thank you so much for your mission of educating people about meth addiction.

Angel Marie
Jessica My heart breaks for you! September 29, 2007

Reading about Austin brought back so many feelings and memories of my husband addiction. Right now today he has been clean off of Meth for 126 days. He has been fighting drug addiction for 13yrs. Alcohol, pot, cocaine, Alcohol, cocaine, Meth.........These were are relapses in the last 8 years that we have been together. He put himself into hospital and treatment (first time) Has a true realtionship with God now. I as his wife also discoverd how sick I am too..........very codependent. I have done a lot of soul searching and everyday I am getting better and better along with my husband. The one major thing I can say that was good about all of this is we were never close to God, our children barely knew him. Now today he is very much part of our lives. It is a struggle but with God in our lives anything is possible.

I completely agree about the system. My husband tested positive for Meth, we were seperated and they told me that he has every right to see and be with his kids until I prove different to a judge which could take several months. Then when he hit rock bottom. VERY close to death. My husband should have been in a coffin. I have never seen anyone look like that alive. He begged the state to put him into treatment. It took them 8 weeks to place him somewhere. Thank God he really wanted to quit or he would have not made it. Now with the tools that he has learned, GOD, AA, NA, speaking about his addiction there is a big chance that he will be one of the 7% that makes it.

We too also want to put our story out there. I really hope that someday we can change peoples lives like you have.

You are in my thoughts and prayers. I am so sorry that for your loss. You are doing the right thing by getting his story out there. By reading what others have wrote you can see what a impact Austin has had on them. I really hope to get to know your family better. I am also on the I saw Jill's posting in my addiction. I am Jessyka. GOD BLESS YOUR FAMILY!!!

Raven May Austin Rest in Peace September 14, 2007

My heart goes out to Jill and her family

I am a clean meth addict of 9 years (used for 25) but struggle with it every day.  I hope Austin has found peace at last.

Barbara/EvansMom ForMomsOnly August 25, 2007

Those of us who have watched our child fight drug addiction

 can understand the anguish as you watched Austin battle his demons.  Those of us who have lost a child understand the nightmare that you wake to each and every day knowing he is gone.  I will never stop missing and loving my son, Evan. 

Find whatever solace you can in knowing that Austin is

 finally free of the monsters in this world.

Bernadette Burton Deepest sympathy May 13, 2007
i am a recovering meth addict and know the struggle i live with everyday. i thank god for my sobriety. But it is a never ending battle. i am sorry for Jill and the family for their loss and it is Austins story that keeps me fighting for i never want to go down that road again. Bless you Austin you are at peace now!! Bless you Jill i value your friendship more than you know.Keep up the good fight i know you have touched my life and many others!! 
Sarah Love and prayers for you March 31, 2007
Kim Hemker Doesn't get more evil than meth March 28, 2007
It's hard to come up with an original way to say I'm sorry for your loss, but there is no other way. I have a great amount of empathy for people who have had crystal meth affect their lives. My ex-husband, who I will love my whole life, battles with the addiction of meth. I admire your strength in being able to help others during this hard time. I think I am still too angry to help anyone, and that includes educating my own children about it. The only thing I can come up with is how it ruined our lives, daddy's life and all the lives of anyone who has anything to do with it.
De'de' Meyer loving friend March 14, 2007
I want to send this message out to the people who knew Austin.  My son and I knew him for a brief period of months.  He went away, and tried so hard to straighten out his young life.....then he came back to Flagstaff.  But the pressures on him were too hard and unforgiving.  He was just a boy...and the powers that be would not let him be.  I am a mother.  My son worked with him at a moving company one summer and had so many laughs...........Austin had not a cruel bone in his body...he was just a sweet young boy who who was trying to find his way in this cruel and unforginving world.  He was not bad, and the last time I talked to him I went away and cried.  He died a week later.  My son, his friend, and I cannot come to grips with what if we could have helped him.  He had just gotten back to Arizona from back east....he had been trying to straighten out his life.  I don't see it that he was some bad kid that owed "society' a debt.  I feel like we....society....failed Austin.   And I can never forgive any of us.  We all failed him.  I am sorry to say such a harsh thing, but I feel that all people who know someone......have them in their life...even if briefly...owe that little person some solace from the pain they carry.  I feel we failed him.  Austin was nothing but sweet...........and full of fun.  He deserved the right to be a young man for his brief time in the sun.  It is not his fault that he was born into such a harsh world, where even if you are a sweet boy with some troubles, you should not have to be thrown into a world of body and mind-killing drugs...but they are out there.  What choices did Austin have?  So he got in some trouble; so many kids do.  He tried with all he had to straighten it out.  But sometimes the world, and the people who come your way when you are trying to straighten out....just keep coming around.  And that's what happened to poor Austin.  The authorities would not allow him to gently go back into society; and all the worst people kept coming back around him..........and all he wanted was a life.  I have to see sweet Austin now, enjoying something of a heavenly world, much kinder than this one that was dealt him.  God bless you, child.  De'de'
Kym Costello Safe in his arms February 28, 2007

My husband is a meth addict & the pain for him & all who love him is unbearable! I pray for him & addicts like him everyday.  I am so sorry for your loss but as my husband has said these addicts don't live on drugs they are dying everyday. Austin is more alive now than ever.  I only hope we all find the peace that he will now eternally live. Austin is safe in the arms of God.  I pray that God will embrace us and carry us through the hell Meth makes us endure. May the Lord be with you in all of your times of need.  Thank you for your story, you have inspired many to love unconditionally and continue to fight for those who are not strong enough yet to fight for themselves.  It is strength like yours that will help us win this war!

Ryan Byrum Thank you Jill February 26, 2007

   You are a beautiful person. You must be one of the strongest people I know. I wish there words I could use to help you understand how much you and your support has touched me, but this feeling is past words. I don't know why things happen, but I know that they do happen. What happened to you, Austin, your family, and friends is terrible, but what you have done with it is beautiful. I feel like I, the world, owes you so much. People like you are what makes life worth living. You have inspired me in so many ways that I don't know what to do with the inspiration. I will help fight the fight against drugs. I wish I could some how transfer what I am feeling because of you. Then you would understand why I will be forever greatful to you. I send my love to you and your family.

Austin: Rest in peace, but let your memory live forever.

                                                                          Love Always,
jeff Medina I sympathize February 1, 2007

Hello.I am a relative of a meth addict.My brother is serving a 25 year sentence for a meth related crime. I was also a crew member on the movie "Iowa". Meth is a drug that is really making a victim of whole families. I am not a parent,but I can sympathize with the plight of your family.My mother is the only family member I have left,and my brother will be in prison when she passes. I think him being in prison is a blessing in disguise.He is not getting tweaked out every time he turns around.However, I often wonder what is in their minds,if they really comprehend what it does to their families. Meth is a drug that destroys all reason,it is a drug from the very belly of hell. Our elected officials see fit to put federal monies elsewhere instead of prevention,and rehabilitation. There has to be an answer to the problem somewhere.Maybe the answer will not be found in my lifetime,but if an elected official had a family member afflicted by this devil drug,then more federal money would be found to fight the problem.  I am so sympathetic to families that have to deal with the problem daily like our families have had to.Thank you.

Jeff Medina,"Iowa" crew member

Jean Stay Strong January 24, 2007

I know that this drug is so horrific....Myself I have my own addiction not to Meth but to Pill's...I have been clean for about a year and everyday it is so very hard.  I can only imagine what Austin was going through when he decided to leave this world.  Sometimes that way seems easier!  You and your family are very brave and doing good things to try to keep other's away from this monster of a drug.

Ive learned its all a matter of staying strong!  Thank you for this site....kinda puts things in a little better perspective....REMEMBER STAY STRONG!

Paulette Norman The Brightess Star In Heaven Tonight is Austin January 17, 2007
To Jill,Bill and Daniel,
As a parent of 3 grown children ages,31,29 and also 22. I cannot begin to imagine the pain you are going through in the loss of your dear son(brother) Austin. I cried reading your story, it is very touching and I am sure it will make its way to many many homes across the world, thanks to the Internet.
It had to been so hard and frustrating to watch poor Austin slip away at the hands of that dreadfull drug. My 22 yr old son's girlfriend is a former Crystal Meth User. She was lucky and was able to get off that drug when she found out she was pregnant at the tender age of 15,just a baby herself. My son was not dating her at this time, she lived in Hope,British Columbia and found an excellent group home that helped her through the addiction and her pregnancy. Her mother and I had been friends yrs prior to her family moving from our home town North Bay,Ontario,Canada, to Hope British Columbia. She also lost her mother while in treatment to Cancer, that was very difficult for her. as she continued the councelling after the baby girl was born, she lived for that baby. She made her mother a promise  that she would never touch drugs again and that she would make sure that Keanna was brought up right as she was. Her mom was also a single parent of 3 girls and 1 boy. They all turned out good and they became even stronger after the passing of their mother on June 15th,2004. She moved back to North Bay to set up her residence with her older sister that would become her guardian till the age of 18. She then came over to meet us one day as she was so young when they had left North Bay, she didnt really remember us. It didnt take her long to feel comfortable with us,by about the end of the 1st month back here she was dating my youngest son,who was at the time 20. They now have a 7 month old daughter together and she is a miracle. My son too was on the road to distruction with drugs and she seen him through, he was able to quit his habit for her,Keanna and his new baby girl named Kassidy.
Jill, I am sure that Austin is shining down upon you all. the brightess star that Shines on you at night will be Austin. he is now safe in the arms of Jesus.
My thoughts and prayers are with all of you. Thank you so much for sharing your story with us all. I am sure this maybe an eye opener for some out there that are struggling with Crystal Meth ( the Devils Drug).
Take care all.
Paulette Norman and Family
Greg Gabrilson Life January 10, 2007
We are all terminal from the day we are born but it is sad when a young person leaves us.  We only hope he is in a better place and is at peace with himself.
Cyndi Husbands Suicide... January 4, 2007

I know your pain far too well and wish you all the hope and happiness that you can possibly stand.  My husband, Brad Donald, took his own life by intentional meth overdose April 8, 2003... leaving his three children behind (one of which is mine and is now 5 years old and two others from a previous marriage).  He battled his meth addiction for almost fifteen years. 


One other thing we have in common is Brad and I lived in Bennett Ia, and I was raised in Davenport.  I'm glad to meet you, neighbor... but wish it was under better circumstances.


Be blessed


Nicole I lost my brother to meth January 4, 2007

I am so sorry about your son.  My brother died of a meth overdose on Oct. 16th.  He was 38 and had been struggling with addiction for 9 years.  He even went to prison in 2001 for 8 months.  After prison he stayed clean for 2 years and then began using again.  I still have so many whys??  He has two children 11 and 13.

I feel so sad. I still can not believe it.

harry its been awhile... January 2, 2007

its been awhile since ive heard from you or austin. it was good to see you on new years. but its sad to hear about what happen to your boy. if you wanna talk my e-mail  is


Kathryn I feel your pain January 1, 2007
I lost my son to meth addition. He jumped off a bridge. It was horrible. That day he was not himself, he was scary, yelling and violently attacking me, his mom. Your son's story with meth sounds very similar to my sons. When will the law makers see this drug is killing our children. My son was in jail, but was let out when he showed "remorse" What a load of crap. He might still be here if he hade served a few years for the laws he broke. I understand he got the meth here in my neighborhood. So how is this happening and why arent the police on to these meth houses?
Gail Schmidt December 27, 2006

As I am writting this the tears are falling, I am so very sorry for your loss. I want to say how courageous you are, for putting your grief aside to reach out to help others.  I will pray for you, and hope you find peace that you very much deserve.



Amanda It's not easy December 20, 2006

Hi. I am 21 years old and recently lost everything I worked so hard for over using meth. My home was raided in May 2006 and my husband was arrested and charged with possession. I was present for the raid, but thankfully I was told to leave the property. My husband, who is now 26, is currently serving a 3 year sentence for possession. I have had to put my house up for sale to accomodate all of my husbands legal expenses. I moved back in with my parents, who are supporting me and my husband 100%.


I never realized how much the drug was screwing up my life. There would be days that I did not want to go around my parents or family because I was too high and afraid it would be noticed.  I am thankful that I was able to come off the drug before I was actually "addicted".  I have been clean 9 months now. My husband has been incarcerated for 2 months. I have a long journey to go without him. I have had a real wake up call with this incident and have realized what I was doing to myself and as a result lost my husband for 3 years.


Meth is a very powerful addicting drug that you can never understand why someone would use it, until you use it yourself. I have heard that just after one "hit" of meth a user can become addicted. I wouldnt so much say addicted......I would describe it as liking the feeling it gave you, the rush and the high. I do wish now that I would of been strong enough to say no when it was offered to me. Now, not only is husband suffering for this, I am too. My life is on hold until he comes home. I hope this doesnt happen to anyone else. It is devastating to lose so much over drugs. I wish everyone would do research on the drug and read everyone's stories. It just may change their mind about using.


I am very sorry for loss. It is very tragic that drugs drove him to his decision. I feel for your family. Stay strong.  You are in my prayers.


Terri Is there any hope for victims? December 17, 2006

Our only daughter is addicted. I've done all the research that I could on the Internet. This is how I found Austin's website. As I cried feeling and knowing what his Mom & Dad's pain feels like, I asked there anyone in Arizona who can help us with the user? Our life has been a living hell that no family deserves to go through.

I understand that life was not meant to be without Trials...but there must be something parents, the community, and victims can do to stop this monster from continuing to ruin innocent lives. Because I am so angry for what meth did to Austin, I am willing to do anything to save not only my daughter, but also the daughters, sons, moms, and dads, who are literally controlled by this drug!

It hurts so much to look at my daughter when she is violent, depressed, and crashed out because the high is wearing off and she hasn't slept for days, it is not her, I see that meth has won one more time!

Thank you so much for sharing Austin's story. May God give you strength as you and your family go through such a difficult time.

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