Sarah | Austin | July 25, 2014 |
Jessica | <3 | June 20, 2013 |
Rus | Sorry for your loss and also need you prayers | November 16, 2011 |
Brandi | You can only help yourself. | June 21, 2011 |
Della | I'm so sorry | May 9, 2011 |
Oraclepro | A friend | February 12, 2011 |
Lori Ferguson | Sending a prayer | August 25, 2010 |
mom 2 Waylon Kitchens | thinkin of you | April 17, 2010 |
In Loving Memory
of an Angel
Austin Hesse
Jennifer | Now I know | April 6, 2010 |
Jill
I wrote on this board in May 09. My greatest fear was that one day drugs would take my son. Now I know your pain....Erik died April 2, 2010. From the last time I wrote things really were changing for the better. Erik quit drugs for quite awhile. He was attending school, he wanted to become an RN. He was trying so hard. We paid for school but he got a student loan without us knowing it until the checks came in the mail. He bought a car....he bought drugs. It was Erik's nature to never do a little of anything. If 1 pill was good then 5 was awesome! He had many drugs in his system, including meth. He went into the hospital on March 31 and was on life support until April 2.
I feel your pain. Its hard for others to understand what we've been through all these years. Some might think that we should have done this or done that differently. The what ifs are flooded in my mind. There were so many times that Erik could have died before now. The comfort that I do have is that I know his pain is gone. He is God's child in Heaven.
Jill, what can I do to help? What can I do to help stop this?
Hugs, Jennifer
Kelly Jackson | God is good! | October 10, 2009 |
my heart hurts for your family. I have been feeling the effects of having drug addict frends and family. Its so hard because part of me wants to push them away because I am ashamed of them, but as a child of God I want to love them and pray that God has mercy on them. This is so very hard to watch loved ones go threw this. I dont understand why God's plans are the way they are sometimes, but I do know this. In his perfect will evrything is ok and he is GOOD ALL THE TIME.
Paul the apposal was a killer and several inoccent people lost their lives. God sure does know how to turn lemons in to lemoande because when he found God he led nations to Christ. This is what the site reminds me of. You took a loss and now with that loss you are making millions aware of Meth and what it will led to. You are so very strong! May God bless you and may this site bless this nation. Thanks so very much. You sister in Christ -kelly-
Mom to Angel Justin Lindley | Forever in my heart-finally FREE! | September 18, 2009 |
Lori | Message for Jill | September 7, 2009 |
Please contact me at 308-946-3250 or 308-520-0891 I am very sorry for the loss of your son. Meth has also destroyed most of my family. I organized a recovery walk in Nebraska, last year we walked 220 miles, this year we traveled to each town and set up a drug awareness booth. We didn't have much public interest this year, I was discouraged and considering not doing it again next year. I lost a good friend to addiction this year while on the walk, she will be buried on Sept. 19th. She was a nurse that had been to treatment 28 times. She never gave up trying to get clean and sober. I found Austin's story while trying to find a song for her service. I am reminded why I started this walk and why I am out there. If we touch one life, prevent one child from trying Meth, then our efforts are not wasted.
SANDY | Thank You | September 6, 2009 |
Cheryl | I hate meth too! | September 5, 2009 |
mom 2 Waylon Kitchens | thinkin of you | August 23, 2009 |
DAVID L WINN | SEARCHING | July 7, 2009 |
I am still searching for answers as to why are sons would keep takeing this evil drug the pain it has caused to our family seems to never go away,my son Robert died on Fathers day 2007 every day I lose more of my life inside I pray for those who are searching for a way out. David from Prescott,AZ. GOD BLESS.
Diane-ClaireSullivan's daughte | Addiction | June 16, 2009 |
I came accross your son's story & it broke my heart. I have a nephew in jail now for over a yr because of the drug heroin - I cringe at the word! Now his brother who has been using for awhile crashed - he robbed a bank in order to set off a chain of effents - & that was to die! He wanted the police to shoot him! He went to buy a gun - thank god he couldn't get one! He went after the police officers with a box cutter. They did subdue him - but they kicked his front tooth out - beat him up some after he was handcuffed - six of them! Anyway he is getting physchiactric evaluations - he is still sucidial because of what this drug has made him - we know he will have to pay for what he did - but we want him to get the help that he needs! Of course we feel guilty for not doing something sooner - but we are behind him all the way! My mother is gone now - she was the core of the family - she taught us to that family sticks together! That's what we are doing - but what happened to my nephew - it flashed back to me what happened to your son! My heart broke all over again! I can't imagine the horror you felt when you lost your Austin - I am so sorry!
God Bless You & your family.
Jennifer | So sorry for your loss | May 4, 2009 |
I'm so sorry for your loss. Your son's story hits close to home.
I have a 24 year old son, we live in Phx, Az. He quit meth about 3 years ago but last week confirmed that he's doing it again. Like your son, he's been doing drugs for about 10 years. His mind is going.
Like the poem says, meth steals souls, but it also feels like it rips my heart from my chest. I'm so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your story.
New Zealand Girl | Its here 2 | April 19, 2009 |
We live in a beautiful part of the world which is being destroyed by this devil drug.I have felt the pain of being in love with someone who could not fight the addction.Now I know more about it I can forgive myself...I thought I could love him out of the need and lost thousands in the process. The worst part is that ,like Austin, he was the most beautiful human being when not using.Ultimately I had to walk away , but I love hm still and am so desperately angry that this filthy drug exists.Austins parents are so brave with this site,they are making some good come out of such a tragedy.In the past ten years New Zealand society has been eroded by this foul beast...such pain and misery is being felt by parents and partners here too. God give you His strength, Austins parents.
Aroha..(love)
NZ Girl
jon | hope | December 9, 2008 |
i leave for rehab tomorrow and am scared out of my mind. i stumbled upon this site as i googled "strength for rehab". anyway, i just wanted to say that visiting this site has givin me hope and reminds me that im not alone. i relate to austin in several ways. its a shame that drugs like this exist. its a shame that its so hard to get help if you are an addict. i see these are things that you are trying to change. i appreciate that.
jon 31 year old addict.
Adrian Raye | Austin | October 16, 2008 |
Jill.................
All Consuming,
Unresuming,
Fires Burning All You Miss.
But Nothing Takes Your Mind Away
From What Your Heart Bleeds On To Say
But Most Of All,
NO
All In All
My Heart Goes Out To You.......Adrian Raye.
robert | Never in vain | August 24, 2008 |
My eyes cry for you and your family.My 2 daughters now 23 and 20.Lived with
a dad addicted to speed off and on for years..What a selfish act it was..
My heart is softened more today by your loss.I am 84 days clean and
never looking back.They have learned from my ways.God has granted
me the courage to change the things I can.And I am.
Your family is in my heart forever.
Soledad from Argentina | To Jill, Daniel and Bill | June 30, 2008 |
I am from Argentina, I have been reading about this drug on the internet, we don t have it yet in here. Can not believe what this evil drug can cause. I am sorry for your loss, but I am sure he found the peace he coundn t find here.
Thanks you for having the courage to share your sons experience with others..
May Austin rest in peace!
Soledad from Argentina.
Dessa Smith | You are in my heart and prayers | May 27, 2008 |
valerie | sorry but thank you | May 15, 2008 |
to austin's mom:
i am sincerely sorry for the way austin's story ended. after only a three month addiction to meth, the struggle to quit using is extremely difficult and some days i wonder if the pain i feel in quitting is worth it. i read austin's memorial and the dedication you put into creating it. i envision my mother having to do go through the same kind of loss that you have endured and it almost makes my heart stop.
the pain i feel every single minute by quitting is definately worth it. (it has been three weeks since my last use--the LONGEST i have been clean since i was introduced to meth) i have been the worst person to my family and friends because of meth and mostly to my mom. i only continued to hurt her because she was one of the two people (the other was my dad) who refused to give up on me i am grateful to them for that. they stuck around long enough to see things get ugly. i was a different person when i was needing to get more meth. i am gratful to them for that.
jill-you're son, austin, has definately touched my heart. i know that my mother thanks you for reaching out.
Angie Fallowfield | A lost soul | April 25, 2008 |
Deborah | I am so sorry.. | March 21, 2008 |
I an a recovering meth addict...its harder than hell. I have 7 days clean today, and its a struggle every second of the day. i have 4 kids who love me so much...my youngest is 12, and she looks to me for everything. Her father recently found out about my use and got supervised visits..my older kids being the supervisors...I have never been arrested, work as a nurse, and no one would ever suspect i've been a daily user for over 20 years..I've finally realised that this disease can and will kill...everyime I look in my babys face, i cry because i see how much i've failed her, and how much she needs me. I'm in tears now from reading your story, and from, for the first time, being open about all this. I can only imagine how devistating losing a child so needlessly must be..I know if it was my child ..well..i dont know if i could go on. Its stories like yours that, and my little girls hopeful eyes that are keeping me clean so far. I'm in an outpatient program, and i understand only too well the levels of hopelessness, sadness, and desparation this illness brings.
Thank you for sharing your pain...If it affects one person the way it has affected me, then your coming out with this matters..and i sincerly believe that it matters maybe more than you know..
I'm sorry for your pain, but , as an addict, knowing how hard it can be...maybe, and hopefully you can get some comfort, and solace in knowing that your sons battle..his pain...is finally over...I'm just sorry it had to end so tragically...but, he is at peace..where he finally can rest.
Thank You for sharing
Shelly Nagy | From a Stranger | March 6, 2008 |
Laurri Lowe | Rosies Mom | January 10, 2008 |
Sending tender hugs from my broken heart to yours. I hope one day we will just know why.....
Angel Marie | God Bless You! | November 23, 2007 |
Jessica | My heart breaks for you! | September 29, 2007 |
Reading about Austin brought back so many feelings and memories of my husband addiction. Right now today he has been clean off of Meth for 126 days. He has been fighting drug addiction for 13yrs. Alcohol, pot, cocaine, Alcohol, cocaine, Meth.........These were are relapses in the last 8 years that we have been together. He put himself into hospital and treatment (first time) Has a true realtionship with God now. I as his wife also discoverd how sick I am too..........very codependent. I have done a lot of soul searching and everyday I am getting better and better along with my husband. The one major thing I can say that was good about all of this is we were never close to God, our children barely knew him. Now today he is very much part of our lives. It is a struggle but with God in our lives anything is possible.
I completely agree about the system. My husband tested positive for Meth, we were seperated and they told me that he has every right to see and be with his kids until I prove different to a judge which could take several months. Then when he hit rock bottom. VERY close to death. My husband should have been in a coffin. I have never seen anyone look like that alive. He begged the state to put him into treatment. It took them 8 weeks to place him somewhere. Thank God he really wanted to quit or he would have not made it. Now with the tools that he has learned, GOD, AA, NA, speaking about his addiction there is a big chance that he will be one of the 7% that makes it.
We too also want to put our story out there. I really hope that someday we can change peoples lives like you have.
You are in my thoughts and prayers. I am so sorry that for your loss. You are doing the right thing by getting his story out there. By reading what others have wrote you can see what a impact Austin has had on them. I really hope to get to know your family better. I am also on the dailystrength.org. I saw Jill's posting in my addiction. I am Jessyka. GOD BLESS YOUR FAMILY!!!
Raven | May Austin Rest in Peace | September 14, 2007 |
My heart goes out to Jill and her family
I am a clean meth addict of 9 years (used for 25) but struggle with it every day. I hope Austin has found peace at last.
Barbara/EvansMom | ForMomsOnly | August 25, 2007 |
Those of us who have watched our child fight drug addiction
can understand the anguish as you watched Austin battle his demons. Those of us who have lost a child understand the nightmare that you wake to each and every day knowing he is gone. I will never stop missing and loving my son, Evan.
Find whatever solace you can in knowing that Austin is
finally free of the monsters in this world.
Bernadette Burton | Deepest sympathy | May 13, 2007 |
Sarah | Love and prayers for you | March 31, 2007 |
Kim Hemker | Doesn't get more evil than meth | March 28, 2007 |
De'de' Meyer | loving friend | March 14, 2007 |
Kym Costello | Safe in his arms | February 28, 2007 |
My husband is a meth addict & the pain for him & all who love him is unbearable! I pray for him & addicts like him everyday. I am so sorry for your loss but as my husband has said these addicts don't live on drugs they are dying everyday. Austin is more alive now than ever. I only hope we all find the peace that he will now eternally live. Austin is safe in the arms of God. I pray that God will embrace us and carry us through the hell Meth makes us endure. May the Lord be with you in all of your times of need. Thank you for your story, you have inspired many to love unconditionally and continue to fight for those who are not strong enough yet to fight for themselves. It is strength like yours that will help us win this war!
Ryan Byrum | Thank you Jill | February 26, 2007 |
jeff Medina | I sympathize | February 1, 2007 |
Hello.I am a relative of a meth addict.My brother is serving a 25 year sentence for a meth related crime. I was also a crew member on the movie "Iowa". Meth is a drug that is really making a victim of whole families. I am not a parent,but I can sympathize with the plight of your family.My mother is the only family member I have left,and my brother will be in prison when she passes. I think him being in prison is a blessing in disguise.He is not getting tweaked out every time he turns around.However, I often wonder what is in their minds,if they really comprehend what it does to their families. Meth is a drug that destroys all reason,it is a drug from the very belly of hell. Our elected officials see fit to put federal monies elsewhere instead of prevention,and rehabilitation. There has to be an answer to the problem somewhere.Maybe the answer will not be found in my lifetime,but if an elected official had a family member afflicted by this devil drug,then more federal money would be found to fight the problem. I am so sympathetic to families that have to deal with the problem daily like our families have had to.Thank you.
Jeff Medina,"Iowa" crew member
Jean | Stay Strong | January 24, 2007 |
I know that this drug is so horrific....Myself I have my own addiction not to Meth but to Pill's...I have been clean for about a year and everyday it is so very hard. I can only imagine what Austin was going through when he decided to leave this world. Sometimes that way seems easier! You and your family are very brave and doing good things to try to keep other's away from this monster of a drug.
Ive learned its all a matter of staying strong! Thank you for this site....kinda puts things in a little better perspective....REMEMBER STAY STRONG!
Paulette Norman | The Brightess Star In Heaven Tonight is Austin | January 17, 2007 |
Greg Gabrilson | Life | January 10, 2007 |
Cyndi | Husbands Suicide... | January 4, 2007 |
I know your pain far too well and wish you all the hope and happiness that you can possibly stand. My husband, Brad Donald, took his own life by intentional meth overdose April 8, 2003... leaving his three children behind (one of which is mine and is now 5 years old and two others from a previous marriage). He battled his meth addiction for almost fifteen years.
One other thing we have in common is Brad and I lived in Bennett Ia, and I was raised in Davenport. I'm glad to meet you, neighbor... but wish it was under better circumstances.
Be blessed
Cyndi
Nicole | I lost my brother to meth | January 4, 2007 |
I am so sorry about your son. My brother died of a meth overdose on Oct. 16th. He was 38 and had been struggling with addiction for 9 years. He even went to prison in 2001 for 8 months. After prison he stayed clean for 2 years and then began using again. I still have so many whys?? He has two children 11 and 13.
I feel so sad. I still can not believe it.
harry | its been awhile... | January 2, 2007 |
its been awhile since ive heard from you or austin. it was good to see you on new years. but its sad to hear about what happen to your boy. if you wanna talk my e-mail is hweigandt@yahoo.com...
harry,
Kathryn | I feel your pain | January 1, 2007 |
Gail | Schmidt | December 27, 2006 |
As I am writting this the tears are falling, I am so very sorry for your loss. I want to say how courageous you are, for putting your grief aside to reach out to help others. I will pray for you, and hope you find peace that you very much deserve.
Amanda | It's not easy | December 20, 2006 |
Hi. I am 21 years old and recently lost everything I worked so hard for over using meth. My home was raided in May 2006 and my husband was arrested and charged with possession. I was present for the raid, but thankfully I was told to leave the property. My husband, who is now 26, is currently serving a 3 year sentence for possession. I have had to put my house up for sale to accomodate all of my husbands legal expenses. I moved back in with my parents, who are supporting me and my husband 100%.
I never realized how much the drug was screwing up my life. There would be days that I did not want to go around my parents or family because I was too high and afraid it would be noticed. I am thankful that I was able to come off the drug before I was actually "addicted". I have been clean 9 months now. My husband has been incarcerated for 2 months. I have a long journey to go without him. I have had a real wake up call with this incident and have realized what I was doing to myself and as a result lost my husband for 3 years.
Meth is a very powerful addicting drug that you can never understand why someone would use it, until you use it yourself. I have heard that just after one "hit" of meth a user can become addicted. I wouldnt so much say addicted......I would describe it as liking the feeling it gave you, the rush and the high. I do wish now that I would of been strong enough to say no when it was offered to me. Now, not only is husband suffering for this, I am too. My life is on hold until he comes home. I hope this doesnt happen to anyone else. It is devastating to lose so much over drugs. I wish everyone would do research on the drug and read everyone's stories. It just may change their mind about using.
I am very sorry for loss. It is very tragic that drugs drove him to his decision. I feel for your family. Stay strong. You are in my prayers.
-Amanda
Terri | Is there any hope for victims? | December 17, 2006 |
Our only daughter is addicted. I've done all the research that I could on the Internet. This is how I found Austin's website. As I cried feeling and knowing what his Mom & Dad's pain feels like, I asked myself...is there anyone in Arizona who can help us with the user? Our life has been a living hell that no family deserves to go through.
I understand that life was not meant to be without Trials...but there must be something parents, the community, and victims can do to stop this monster from continuing to ruin innocent lives. Because I am so angry for what meth did to Austin, I am willing to do anything to save not only my daughter, but also the daughters, sons, moms, and dads, who are literally controlled by this drug!
It hurts so much to look at my daughter when she is violent, depressed, and crashed out because the high is wearing off and she hasn't slept for days, it is not her, I see that meth has won one more time!
Thank you so much for sharing Austin's story. May God give you strength as you and your family go through such a difficult time.